MommyCoddle

note to myself...

...on the day that you slice your thumb open from cuticle towards the knuckle with your rotary cutter; and while applying pressure with a blood-stained paper towel back into a large clay pot and send it crashing to the floor in a mess of soil, green leaves and broken pottery, while the baby cries, and the children bicker....

REMEMBER THESE THINGS:

that this little one lays on your chest at bedtime and tucks her head under your chin so snugly that you can feel her eyelashes brushing against your neck. And while you sing the only song she'll settle down to, she coos and moans in rhythm along with your voice, and lets you rub her head and tuck her hair behind her ear, until her tired eyes finally close in sleep.

that almost once a week you get a taste of spring

that soon, very soon--you'll be spreading out. you'll have more room. you'll have your own space. you'll have your own garden. a table big enough to dine with friends and family, all together. a stream to play in. a barn to fill. a place to plant your feet.

that you have a full plate of projects and swaps. but it is good, creative kind of work. nothing you dread or don't enjoy. only things that need creative time, not dreaded time.

that you're healthy and happy. you have a good husband. laughing, creative, gentle children. a warm home. good food on the table. and a close family.

think on these things.

to be or not to be (independent)

These little guys are headed to the kiln today for their first firing. The downside of being part of this pottery workshop is that my kiln-firing schedule is at the mercy of others. I have no real say over when my things get fired, especially when the things I'm firing are so tiny and not worthy of their own firing in a big kiln. One of these days, I'm going to get myself a tiny little kiln and start working from home. One of these days...for now, I'm just happy to have clay in my hands again.

Over the weekend, Ms.CampCreek and I were discussing my experiences with Emma and her observational drawing lesson. If there is one word to describe Emma it is independent. (well, actually I might describe her as determined first, but independent is a close second). Lori and I were talking about how we strive for our children to be independent, to be able to do things on their own. But in the next breath, we're requiring them to do things "our way". It's that fine line--figure this out on your own, see if you can do that by yourself....no, you need to do this MY way!

I think I felt that imbalance last week, when I myself was feeling a bit frazzled. I've noticed that when Emma senses my stress, she gets into independent mode--make my own breakfast, clean my rubber boots in the bathroom sink, get out the paints by myself, etc. And in return, I become more frazzled because sometimes her independent outbursts leave a wake of confusion and mess. I heard myself saying over and over last week, "would you please just ask for my help?? That is what I'm here for!" Yet at other times, I'm the one pushing her to do things on her own--sometimes even those same things I just told her to do only with my help. "Emma, you can pour your cereal by yourself."

Does that make any sense?

Her independent spirit is bittersweet when it comes to home schooling. In one sense, she's completely driven. She'll figure things out on her own. Start things on her own. And work until she finds a solution. On the other hand, if I want to sit down and actually instruct her (heaven forbid!), she interrupts with a hand on my arm and a, "But mommy, what if we tried to do it this way?"

Parenting. It's all about give and take. Adjusting. Finding balance. Seeing each child for who they are. Finding their gifts and talents and encouraging them. It's also about guiding and instructing and disciplining. Now if I could just figure out how to do all those things, and do them well.

******And I almost forgot! Check out the wonderful treats we received from our miniswap partners:

here,

here ,

here,

and here. We were so spoiled!! Even if you didn't take part in the swap, there's lots of inspiration to be found in the flickr group.

my friend friday

Ahhh, it's Friday. It's been one of those weeks that I'm ready to have over with.
One of those weeks where the smallness of our living space seems to be closing in on me. One of those weeks where your children play with everything but toys--plastic containers, your spices, toothbrushes, hand lotion and yarn.
One of those weeks where your children decide to climb into the overflowing closet and pull everything out of a tub of newborn baby clothes, looking for dresses for their dolls.
One of those weeks where while you're on your hands and knees cleaning up spilled orange juice that a 10 month old pulled down off the table onto herself and the floor, the cat jumps up onto the counter and knocks the whole tub of cat food on to the floor behind you.


So I've been a little distracted, dazed and frazzled. But it's Friday. And despite it all, I've managed to find little moments of peace and retreat.

Last night we had our first-ever paid babysitter. My cousin, who is worshiped by my children, came to watch the girls for a few hours. Unfortunately, Dan and I weren't using that babysitting time to go somewhere together--me a home schooling get together on lapbooking, Dan and my grandmother at a class at church. The lapbooking get together was like one big origami session (not that that's a bad thing)--and gave me lots of great ideas on how to bring some of our learning into more concrete, visual, finished products. (especially when a state review is looming in my future.)

Speaking of school, one of the bloggable bits that I never found time to write about this week was that Emma and I worked on our first Camp Creek art lesson--observational drawing. Emma was a bit of a stubborn student--didn't want to draw what I chose, wanted to erase, didn't want to include much detail. She's not one who likes to be given a lot of direct instruction. I'm always struggling to find the balance between getting things done with her that I feel we need to do, and letting her guide our learning. In the end, after I was up from the table and working on supper, she sat back down and did her own observational drawing of a little corner of our living room. I should know by now that almost everything is done on her time.


Well, I'm looking forward to a slow weekend with hints of a warm up. Today it's a snow/ice storm that lost a lot of steam over night. But we've still hunkered down for the day, lots of logs in the wood burner, knitting, getting out some clay, and soup for lunch.

Happy Weekend, everyone. More upbeat next week, I promise.

sweet reunion

Do you ever have dreams that make you wake up in a funk? Early this morning I woke up from a dream where Dan told me I should start looking for my own place to live with the girls, that I needed to move out. He was so polite and emotion-less. It was horrible. Then, in the dream, I was crying to my sister about it all and Dan walked in--"Listen," he said to my sister, "I didn't want to be in charge of leftovers, but she made me. I'm sorry." To which I remember, in the dream, looking down at a container of whipped cream cheese that was in my hand.

Ah, yes--those early morning, weirdo dreams. But I still made Dan get in bed with me for two more minutes before he left for work, just to be sure he wasn't leaving me over cream cheese and leftover spaghetti.

The picture above is how Sunday evening ended for our family--the girls taking turns standing on the desktop and having church. They're actually quite good at it. "Dear Jesus, I hope you are proud of all we're doing here today." And she makes us recite a little liturgy, too. Mary handles all the singing. And for the record, they do it with completely sincere hearts. So much so, that I almost feel uncomfortable, if I sit on the sofa and flip through a book while they have "church".

And after everyone was in bed, I had a little reunion, all alone, at my kitchen table. It was so good.

test tiles all in a row

playing around with a fish-shaped scrap

the leftovers, and hands that will now need lots of hand lotion.

"those hearts are nasty,

They taste like chalk!" My children weren't big fans of the little message heart candy that they dribbled all over the "valentine's cake". I gave them free reign with the decorating of the cake. I frost it and set it down on the kitchen table and walk away. It's great. So when they started biting in to the hard little candies, they weren't so excited about their decorating choices. Now we have a valentine's cake covered in potholes where little fingers have gone around removing the 'nasty' candies.

Another valentine gift that didn't go over so well was the gift I made for Dan. After seeing Blair's post, it was the push I needed to finally sit down and sew some of these rice bags that I've been meaning to make for quite some time.

I told Jennifer that I'd given up sewing for awhile, until life slowed down, but with some of her cute fabric staring at me, a little more time on my hands and some inspiration from Blair, I broke out (my friend's) sewing machine. (my machine is still out of commission...those darn knits!)

 

I think the rice bags would have been a hit, had I not gone the extra mile and put a little handful of dried lavender inside each bag.  That was the spoiler. I was simply trying to avoid that cooked rice smell. But now, the lavender smell was overpowering to Dan, enough that it sent him to bed clutching his stomach. We slept with a window open, if that tells you anything about how strong he thought the smell was. And I swear, the smell wasn't that strong, it's just that I also made a bag for each of the girls, myself and a friend. So I guess that adds up to a lot of lavender. And a whole heck of a lot of rice.

But nevertheless, my girls came through. They love them. We heat them up every night before bed--3 minutes each in the microwave. And they head off to slumberland with toasty warm toes.

(I altered Blair's pattern a little bit--I made the bag out of muslin and then sewed a separate cover with ties at one end. I figured there would mostly likely be a need to wash them in the future, knowing my children...)

And now that I have my sewing machine out, the requests are flying in from my children. The latest (and one that's sounds do-able) is a sleep bonnet/cap like Mary and Laura Ingalls wear in Little House on the Prairie. I can't really find any kind of pattern anywhere. Have any of you made one? I'm thinking just a circle with some elastic sewn in? Is that right? Help?? Anyone?

happy weekend everyone....see you on monday.

whoooo will be my valentine?

The girls and I sat at the kitchen table this morning and made these valentine owls. I did all the cutting earlier from a pattern I sketched out a few days ago. See their heart shape faces? I'm hoping people will get that part of it. And their bodies are black--not very valentine-ish. But who knew my brand new pack of construction paper would have no brown?? If I'd thought of it before this very second, we would have done them on some brown craft paper instead.

So we delivered them door to door to a few special valentines in our valley--along with a few shy kisses and hugs.

Mary painstakingly signed her name on a small square of paper that I cut out and glued to the back of each one. It was fascinating to watch her write out each letter--any direction, any place on the little small square of paper. I have to give it to her, she stuck it out for five whole valentines.

We also got two lovely valentine gifts through the mail. Steph sent me (and the girls) this awesome print of her stitched art. Can you guess which person in our house claimed it as hers? Thank you so much Steph. I love having a little piece of your work to look at. You know I'm a big fan. (and check out what her husband did for valentine's day...)

And yesterday our miniswap package arrived in the mail. Wow, were we spoiled. I'll show pictures as soon as I gather it all up again from every corner of the house. Jesica, my girls are walking around with some pretty little felt bead bracelets today. They worked on them quietly and with such determination first thing this morning.

Happy Valentine's day everyone. Have something sweet. Do something sweet.

I MUST learn the guitar

I play the piano. And I sing. But I don't play the guitar. It's been one of those "some day I'm gonna..." things on my list for a long time. You can't exactly pull out the piano while sitting on the living room sofa and do a few songs, or bring your piano over to a friend's house to sing a few after supper.

In high school I was in the jazz band and played the electric bass. (in my defense, I also played volleyball and basketball and the jazz band was really cool. right? right?). But the bass is a whole different instrument to the guitar--one note at a time, big thick strings that don't leave long, thin, tender creases in your fingertips.

And when I find new music like this, or see a video like the one below, it becomes almost painful to me that I don't know how to play. Dan even owns a guitar. One Christmas I convinced his family to all pitch in and buy him one, hoping he'd have the time to learn and fill my guitar-less void. But still the guiltar (I'm keeping that spelling mistake, kind of ironic, don't you think?) sits untouched in the corner.

So enough about me....are you getting the Junior Society Reports from Robert Mahar in your inbox? If not, you're missing some good stuff. This morning's email was the 15 best kids music albums of 2007. And somehow from there I landed on the hip young parent blog, which finally led me to one of the CDs on the list. And Kris, if you're reading this. You're going to want this CD.

Renee and Jeremy were on the list of 15 best albums. So far everything I've listened to on their CD, I love. Really love. I'm now going to have to buy it. It's one of those "I have to have it" kinds of CDs.  If you don't believe me, check out this animated version of their "It's A Big World" song....

And if you still have doubts, here they are sitting on the sofa (which led to the emotional outburst above about playing guitar) singing "Night Mantra". They're good, people. And if that's not enough, they even have one of the best looking websites I've seen in awhile.

happy listening!

take and replace

"Take and replace." It's my new mantra with Emma and Mary these days as they deal with Elizabeth, who now wants to come crashing in on whatever they are doing. Playing with schleich animals? She wants to sit in the middle and suck on the giraffe. Drawing at your desk? She wants to stand up beside you and pull the papers down to shred. So I've taught them "take and replace." Take away what she has that you want. Replace it with something else she'll like.

Maybe that's what Martha Stewart is doing with the new special issue of Martha Stewart Good Things: Kids ? Take away MSKids, replace with MS Good Things? This special issue is good--full of some old favorites that I recognize from my MSKids back issues and some new things, too. Having the issue in hand makes me realize how much I miss Martha Stewart Kids. It makes me want to do something.... like write a letter to Martha or Jodi Levine. Or start a new blog--a petition begging them to bring it back!! There are other good children's magazines out there. Wondertime has filled the Kids-void for me, but it isn't as craft-heavy, which is what I loved about MS Kids...

I sat with the issue last night and went through and made a list of a few of the projects I want to try first--the button bracelets, wrapped pencils, decorated bobby pins. So much good stuff.

I've been an embroidering fool this weekend. I got started on an old bird drawing of emma's that I found which has wing bars. I got it all filled in with the colors she suggested, but then got a little stuck. I'm not sure what direction I want to go from here--a pale grey to fill in the other parts, leave them "blank"? But it made me glad I did a practice run before jumping in with the other sketch. I also need to use less strands of floss in the smaller areas like the beak and dark crown. This is all a fun learning process for me.

**my pictures look so blurry in typepad this morning. they're much better in flickr today. hmm.**

And this morning, just because I wanted something to work on while I drank my cup of coffee, I did this drawing I found buried in my sewing basket. Now Mary is begging for me to do something of hers, too. I'm going to have to make a trip to IKEA this weekend for some cheap frames, if this keeps up. They want to draw everything on fabric. Thank goodness for cheap, but simple muslin cloth.

And speaking of birds, check out these amazing felted birds I stumbled upon last night by Lauren Alane. Aren't they amazing? These kill me. She just updated her shop and sold out, but may be updating again this week, according to her blog. I wish I'd found them earlier. They would have made sweet little valentine gifts for the girls.

It's freezing cold here today. Although I remember, when I lived in Wisconsin, thinking these temperatures being what we called "relief". It's in the twenties. I remember being happy to see double digits again, back in my Wisconsin winter days. Brrr.

stay warm.....

good things to know

1. Always check your barley

...before you shake a big pile of it into your hot bubbling stew that has been happily cooking along in the crockpot all day. Because that barley---that you didn't store in an airtight container--just might be laced with tiny bugs that you'll dump into the stew before noticing them wriggling and writhing around in the hot broth. And you'll hurriedly scoop out as many of the offensive bugs as you can, but when you take a big ladle full from the bottom, there'll still be a few stray deceased offenders floating in it.   

2. You can't register for classes at the local community college

....if you're on academic probation. If, last year, you accidentally signed up for pottery workshop as a credit class instead of an audit, and then you had a difficult pregnancy and didn't do one stitch of pottery, and your professor called you two days before the end of the semester wanting to go over your goals and see your work, and you had nothing, he'll give you an F. And if you have an F on your permanent record, you can't sign up for pottery again (as an audit) without dragging your three children over to Student Services to meet with an academic advisor who will give you permission to take another class. You're never too old for a little academic probation.

3. Don't give your daughter a sharpie

...and tell her to draw her best bird on the muslin cloth so that you can embroider it, without first giving her some direction. Because she'll draw a really good bird on the cloth, one that you really love, with wing bars, but she'll draw it so close to the edge of the cloth that you won't be able to fit it into the embroidery hoop. And the project that you wanted to sit down and work on right away that evening to unwind, will have to wait until you figure out a way to get more room around the edges of that very good drawing of a bird. But then she'll draw you two flowers to work on instead, and that will make you happy. And as you work, you'll realize you really know nothing about embroidery, but it's extremely relaxing and it just might be your new thing.

a place to lay your head

We're packing up the car this morning and heading to my mom's house for a little birthday visit. Emma hemmed and hawed yesterday afternoon trying to "think of a special project to make for NeeNee". I decided not to give her any direction, to see what she came up with. She finally settled on the idea of a special pillow, which I simplified to a decorated pillowcase. (mostly because it was after 4pm, all children were up from naps, and dinner was far from ready)

You had to know there would be some horsey theme to her gift--a "rider girl" walking her pony over to the mounting block. I love the way it turned out. A quick and easy project that only required a little ironing of a pillowcase and a sharpie marker.

I have a feeling Emma's gift will out shine the less-than-thrilling, practical one I got for her. Oh well. That's how it should be.

free and easy

I made a decision this weekend to get rid of something in my life that was adding a lot of stress. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I'll tell you all some more about it when it's official and details are worked out. But you should be seeing more of me around here again.

These pictures are from Elizabeth's new favorite place--the bathroom mirror. If I held her there all day long, she'd be happy. She waves, chatters and sucks on her reflection. I have to watch though, she's been known to dive in a little too quick and smash her face on the glass.

My sister and brother-in-law and their kids were here for the weekend. We had dinner at my Dad's Friday night and I tweaked my classic dinner roll recipe to be whole wheat and then I added some flax seed. I didn't get to try them because I ended up staying home with a sleeping baby and writing a real letter to a friend, but I heard good reports.

I'm really conquering my fear of making bread without a bread machine. I use my kitchenaid mixer to get the dough started, then I knead it myself and let it rise beside the wood burner. I think you just really need to go for trial and error when it comes to bread baking. I have some vague ideas of what you're supposed to do, and I just jump in there and figure it out.

I really have nothing earth shattering to share today, but needed to stop in and share that I'm feeling a little more free and easy this morning. Ahhhh. it feels so good. We went for a great walk yesterday with the girls and I wished I had my camera. We found some amazing beaver work around the stream--a huge tree completely felled by the beavers with fresh cuts and beaver chips all around. They completely shaved all the bark off the branches of the tree and left their muddy tracks all over the streambank. I wishing for my camera, but I guess sometimes its just better to be there and not always be documenting everything, right?

Happy Monday friends. I'll be back soon.....

**oh, and have you noticed I'm having a banner crisis--several of you emailed me and said, "what happened to the trike banner???!!" I thought it was too big? but I liked it. i'll try to bring it back this morning. it's kind of happy and spring-y don't you think?**