MommyCoddle

for the mouthy one

I made this wee patchwork blanket for Elizabeth yesterday. The child loves to suck on fabric--a girl after my own heart. She's not picky-- she'll yank a piece of her onesie into those gums or gnaw the dishtowel over my shoulder or the tag hanging off the playmat where she spends some serious time. If she spits up, she gets the purest pleasure if I mop out the insides of her mouth instead of just dabbing up the stuff making a mad dash out of the corner of her mouth, down her cheek and behind her ear lobe.

It's all made with things I had on hand--including some of Kristen's fabric and a perfectly worn piece of flannel from my grandmother's old sheets for the back. It is something I'm really trying to stay committed to lately--the ideas of economy and getting as much life out of an item as possible. Of course, you had to know I'd have a Wendell Berry quote for this one, too:

“Granny was sitting by one of the windows with her sewing basket and button box and a heap of Graddaddy’s and Uncle Ernest’s work shirts beside her on the table. She was patching torn places and replacing buttons, making the shirts last. She too was not making a sound. She was under the spell of her own quietness in the quiet house, and was enjoying being alone”. 

I love that. And if Elizabeth decides that this just might be a favorite thing --(Elizabeth, I so won't mind if you decide that), then I hope it gets full of patches and extra stitches. I'm sure I can find lots of life in it.

aiming myself into the day

There's a good rhythm to my morning, this morning. There are clothes hanging on the line, tomatoes from my grandmother's garden are stewing on the stove for freezing, the girls are playing together outside, the baby is napping and before sitting down here, I was happily reading and enjoying cup of coffee while I let my just-washed hair air-dry in the cool breeze coming in the windows.

I love these kinds of mornings, where everything just seems to be working together, where the morning has that steady rhythm to it of work mixed with just a bit of lingering. These are the mornings when I feel like my home is alive and breathing--the back and forth of the washing machine, the gentle bubble from the stove, the sighing of the coffeepot, the chatter of children playing on the rug.

Eventually, I'm sure the day will shift. The breeze coming in the windows will get hot, the children will get tired or hungry and begin to whine and the baby will need me in that same moment, too. The kitchen will be quiet and the pots unwashed, the laundry will be sitting idly in a basket waiting for the next step in its unpredictable journey back into the drawers.

But for now, morning feels good. And I think morning is important. It shapes the day.

    "He had things on his mind. At the start of the morning you could feel him aiming himself into the day."
       from Andy Catlett, by Wendell Berry

we wrote a song

Download little_mary.m4a

mom--not always Real Simple

I got a supplement of Real Simple magazine last week--their family issue. It is packed with goodness--one of those issues where I definitely have too many dog-eared corners. But there were four little pages tucked in different parts of the issue called, "meet a Real Simple mom". I loved the questions they posed to the mothers and I couldn't stop thinking about what my answers might be, if they had asked me. I chose some of my favorites below and answered them. It was really a lot of fun coming up with my answers.

name: molly    age: 31    hometown: maryland

occupation: homemaker (I do not like the term stay-at-home mom. It's as if you're missing out on something: "Wanna come over and play?" ....  "No, I have to stay at home..." But homemaker, that really captures it all.

family members: husband, Dan, daughters Emma, 5; Mary 3; and Elizabeth, 4 months.

I realized I had turned into my mother when...: I said, "I JUST cleaned the house 20 minutes ago, how can you girls have made it such a mess already!" --I never fully understood her frustration behind this.

the last time my children made me laugh: when my talkative three year-old exclaimed that, "I just realized I can breathe, even when I'm not talking!"

the last time I made my children laugh: when I told them that if they went to bed without calling me in again, I would scream my pants off in the morning. ( I meant scream my head off, now it's their favorite saying.)

when i need to get dinner on the table in a hurry: I go for breakfast--cereal and milk or pancakes and orange juice.

i carve out time for myself by: being diligent about my children taking naps

the last book i read to my child: The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White, and The Ultimate Encyclopedia of Horse Breeds and Horse Care. (just paused to read Em a page of that in the middle of this post)

the gadget that saves me the most time: an electric fan. each child sleeps with one on in their rooms. then i don't have to tiptoe around the house while they are sleeping. i get more accomplished, they get good rest. (the downside? 1. figuring out how to travel with an electric fan. 2. they are making fans too quiet these days. 3. my husband and i both wonder if our children will still be dragging fans along on their honeymoon?)

when I was a kid, I said, "When I'm a parent, I will never...": wake my children in the mornings by saying, (in a loud energetic voice,) "Alright girls! If we each put in one hour in the garden/yard/cleaning the house that's FOUR man-hours. Think of all the things we'll get accomplished!" My kids are still too young to use this technique that my mom always used, but with the way things are shaping up, I have a feeling I'll be using it one day, too.

the invention i would create to make my life easier: drive-up grocery store windows. place your order online, arrange a pickup time, drive up and let them load it in.

what surprises me most about being a parent: how I can be incredibly patient and incredible impatient, all in the same day. how many things I can accomplish with just one hand.

favorite outdoor activity to do with my children: exploring the stream or woods and collecting things.

how i get my children to eat vegetables when they refuse: actually, they're pretty good about this, but Ranch Dressing. Anything dipped in this seems to go easily into the mouth.

the most fun thing about being a mom: each day is new and full of potential

i hope my kids inherit: my husband's love of learning, my love of art and craft and music.

the most important lesson I want my children to learn about life: serve God. trust your instincts. never stop being curious. use your gifts.

******************
some more questions from the magazine that I didn't take the time to answer:
before I turn off the lights at bedtime, I say to my children:
the most noticeable way parenting has changed me:
favorite tradition I share with my children:
three things my children have taught me are:
the hardest thing about being a mom:
I carve out time for myself by:
when I have 30 minutes to myself I:
when I was a kid, I said, "When I'm a parent, I will never..."
the television mom I'm most like:
one thing I wish I had known about parenting before I became a parent:

*****

Ahna played along, too. Read her answers here:

And some from Georgia. thanks!
 

something new

I've got a new project I'm getting ready to put up in my shop in the next few days. A totally new genre for me--well, not completely new, but new in this space. But I'm still thinking it through. This is really just a test-run, if you will. See if there's any interest in them because I'm really enjoying making them--the mixture of modern-day tools, with the steady rhythm of working with my hands. Working alongside my husband, needing his steady hand and knowledge to make it through the whole creative process. The transformation of something rough and raw into something useful, smooth and practical. Seeing the deep color emerge with just the first swipe with a soft, oil-soaked cloth.

Can you tell I've been reading Wendell Berry? My husband turned me on to him and after just finishing Andy Catlett last night, he may now be one of my favorite authors. I can't quite put it into words yet, exactly what it is that I love about his writing. There's no plot, no drama--it's just about living, and work and rest and home. I filled pages and pages of my notebook with favorite quotes:

"The households of my grandparents seemed to breathe forth a sense of the real cost and worth of things. Whatever came, came by somebody’s work."

The book is inspiring me. Inspiring me to be away from my computer; to finally just jump in and start a quilt, but only with the things I have on hand; to read in the evenings and pick up my knitting again; to replace a few missing buttons and patch up a worn-out knee; to put a good, hearty dinner on the table and enjoy the warmth and rhythm of "putting things to rights" before relaxing in the evening.

I'm sure you'll be hearing more Berry-filled quotes and inspiration here in the time to come. I hate it when I come to the end of a good book so I think I'll savor it here for awhile longer.

Be watching this space. Once I get my ideas in order, I'll be showing more of what's above. There will only be two available to start. I'm starting simple and small. We'll see what happens.

Happy Tuesday.

waiting for their cue

with some mozzarella, basil, chicken and bacon--all wrapped up snug in some pizza dough.

happy weekend. enjoy your local treasures.

a list on a thursday

1. We hit fifty today. They had to choose either something small for each of them or something bigger to share. They chose something to share--a little wicker picnic basket set. (there are great sales at Target right now on their summer stuff.) My original plan was to make them earn 100 cubes, but I switched to 50 when I thought it would take too long to get there. And here we are. I think it is important for them to taste success with a new system or else they become discouraged or bored. But I think we'll slowly 'up the ante.'  And by the way, they earn two cubes for going to bed without calling us in because that's "kind to mommy and daddy." Three nights in a row, folks. It's a beautiful thing.

2. Emma and Mary were playing the other day and Mary ripped something out of Emma's mouth. It loosened one of emma's bottom baby teeth. Any experience in this area? From what I've read it should tighten back up, right? Of course she's thrilled about having a loose tooth and I'm getting quizzed about the whole toothfairy business. But it's not time yet....

3. Emma's obsession with horses is getting slightly out of hand. At first it was innocent and nice, but now I'm going a little crazy with all the pony talk. She's such a determined child that when something gets in her brain, she can't let it go.  I think I'm going to have to rein her in a bit (ha.ha.) and encourage her to focus more on learning about ponies, learning to ride and be safe, rather than getting a pony.

4. I love freecycle. Last week I picked up a huge roll of mylar paper, the kind that architects use. I think it's going to be great for making and altering patterns; and helpful when I want to make a pattern in more than one size. And when I responded to an ad for a very cool sounding two-drawer, notecard-sized filing cabinet, I met this local blogger. (this post of hers is really funny. the video is priceless.) We're definitely going to get together soon and decide if we need to become best friends! :)

5. I let my 31st birthday come and go on this blog. But I have to tell you how much I love three of my presents.  This...dishes are so much more fun with music playing in the background. And getting up in the morning and listening to the radio while you make breakfast--there's something so peaceful and calm about that.

And I love this bag that my mom got me. It's a great smaller version when I'm not using my other favorite.

And this little kitchen gadget...not sure how I managed without it. It does it all.

And of course, I received a potholder. We won't discuss how much of the making process I was involved in. I acted very surprised when I opened it.

6. I should really begin putting a start time and end time on these blog posts...I started this one at 8:30 this morning. It is now 4:02, I'm typing with one hand b/c there's a baby in my lap, I hear clanging in the kitchen, and there's a pile of spilled granola on my living room floor....time. to. go.

cubes for peace

I know it couldn't possibly be this simple and easy. It's only been a week, but right now it is working.

We've been experiencing some typical sibling quarrels (that's such a gentle word for it) and sibling competition around this house lately. I was getting pretty tired of hearing the mean voices all the time and the "I won. Me First" attitudes.

For example, when I bring in a drink of water to the girls at bedtime, each calls out, "me first!!" And if I happen to pass the glass to the other sibling, the one that is now having to wait a dehydrating twelve seconds for her drink of water, collapses into a heap of sorrow and torment on the bed.
I knew things were getting out of hand when I found myself carrying two cups of water in the room and doing my best to hand them off at the exact same moment.
Another example? The green cup, green bowl, green spoon issue. We have the set from IKEA that I'm sure most of you have. It comes in four different colors but for some reason each morning my children fight over the green. I don't even think they know why they want the green ones, it's just the fight that they like. It was to the point that the other morning when they started fighting over who got green, I walked over to the cupboard, pulled out the green cup, green bowl and green spoon and threw them all in the trash.
That's one way to solve the problem, I suppose....

I'm usually not one to keep up with charts and graphs and reward systems when it comes to my children, but I decided to reach back into my elementary school teacher artillery and come up with a simple system.
I got myself a big bucket of non-interlocking centimeter cubes (they'll come in handy for homeschooling, too) and an empty glass jar. In our family, the Bible is important to how we live and behave so we talked briefly about the "fruits of the Spirit"--love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. And when I see these behaviours of kindness they get to put a cube in the jar. When they reach 50 cubes, they'll get to pick something out of my bag of treasures.

They were very enthusiastic and it started out quite comically. I heard about ten random, "I love you, my sister"'s every few minutes. And I gave them cubes because I figured it was a place to start and better than the alternative. And now, I think, this kindness is becoming a bit of a habit. Mary still asks for cubes because she ate a good breakfast, but she's slowly getting the idea.
And I'm seeing it overflow into other parts of their lives besides just their relationship with each other--yesterday they picked up sticks and put them on the burn pile (not burning at the time) to be helpful to my grandmother, without anyone asking. And Emma has been finding little ways to be helpful and kind to me, too.

So the simple system is working at the moment. Who knows how long it will last. We've got 34 cubes right now and marching towards fifty, so we're getting there.

But it's not perfect. In the course of writing this post--which sometimes takes me hours to complete--the girls went for a morning walk together (awww, so nice). And Mary came back crying and soaking wet head to toe because Emma filled a bucket with water from the hose and threw it on her. (oh, not so nice) But hey, they're still kids being kids. Every child needs a bucket of water thrown on them now and then....or something like that....and if this doesn't work, I might be getting in on that action myself.

something scary, something sweet

"E" is for....not afraid of bugs anymore. (although suddenly extremely afraid of a toad that shows his face on my grandmother's stoop each evening. I will admit he's a little unnerving.)

a (forced) study in cicadas....since little hands have scattered and forgotten them all over my house. I had to remove one from my laptop before I could open it. icky.

escape route:

Now for the sweet.
Have you experienced the unequaled sweetness of a white peach? They are in their prime here. I cannot get enough.
They do enjoy sunning themselves in a kitchen window sill. Preferably one with a nice view.

3 things 2 do on 1 rainy afternoon {if you're 3}

::sort the mismatched socks to find a pair that fits just right::

::wait your turn for your mommy's lap::

::enlighten your little sister in the ways of Insects and Spiders of North America::

happy weekend, everyone. see you in the new week!

epb @ 4months

now what?

So, I've got the noodles and I remember somewhere, someone at some time had a great little recipe they used these in. I remember it was a cold dish, lots of veggies....but that's all I remember.

Any ideas, folks?  Lay it on me.

more with the tag-team theme

In keeping with the theme of tag-teaming (or not) in life, Emma and I have been working on this new soft horse for her this week. It was definitely a tag team effort in the sense that it was like working with an editor-in-chief constantly over my shoulder:
"I think its ear is a little too long."
"The nose looks funny."
"Why do the legs look backwards?"
"Don't you think it would look better with a smaller head?"
"Well, in real life, a horse's mane, forelock (yes, she used the word forelock), and tail would all be the same color."
"Don't you think you should put a little more stuffing in it's neck?"

I really do believe that part of her was making plans for something more than just a little stuffed pony. She was putting so much thought and effort and detail into this pony, I think she was secretly hoping it might magically become the real thing.

The other night as I was leaving her room at bedtime I saw some serious eye-squinting, hand-clasping and feverish whispering. I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was making a wish. I put it all together when the following morning she ran outside (in her pajamas) to check the barn to see "if her wish had come true." This girl is pining away for the real, living, breathing version of the one we just made together.

So after much help in the 'design' phase of everything, I worked on stitching it up and adding the mane and tail. It was pretty fun making the hair. I just pulled lengths of yarn through the fabric and knotted them so they wouldn't slip during any braiding or brushing sessions.

I love crafting for my children. I've said before on here, that there's something different and special when you're making something with someone in mind, especially someone you love. But I do look forward to the day when we'll be taking turns at the sewing machine or with the needle and thread.
That will be special in its own way, too.

together

Every once in awhile, a person has to step back and evaluate....whether you're evaluating the layout of a room, how you spend your time, how you parent, where your money goes, how you're investing in important relationships, etc.
This weekend Dan and I had some good talks about our time, our family, our relationship. It's hard sometimes to balance all that needs and wants to be done and still carve out time for your spouse. Sometimes, it's just not possible. But  noticed lately that I often live this parallel, tag team life with my husband, especially on the weekends. It's like this: "you watch the kids while I mow and weed-whack around the fences." Then, quickly, now, "SWITCH! You put the girls down for naps while I run to the grocery store and make a pass through the farmers' market." And oftentimes, we don't 'meet up' until the end of the day, when we're both tired and worn out from getting the 'must-do list' done. And lately, it's been driving me crazy. I feel like those tag-team WWF wrestlers, who smack hands as they swap places--one jumps out of the ring while the other squeezes between the ropes back into the mix of things.

Dan and I both love to be together. And as much as we love being together, we love being together as a family, too. So this weekend we talked about embracing the everyday-- finding ways to be together doing the everyday things that need to be done. If the garden needs to be weeded, then let's all go out there together and knock it out. If the dishes need to be washed after dinner, then let's put the girls to bed and enjoy doing it together.

Now of course, we won't be holding hands and moving through all of life's chores together. Some things still need to be done--I don't intend to walk along beside Dan while he weed-eats around the fence posts. And I still prefer zipping through the grocery store by myself vs. dragging all the children with me. But there are still many things that we do each day, each weekend, that could be done together. They might not be accomplished as quickly or efficiently, but that's not always what it's about.

So we 'kicked it off' Sunday with a project Dan has been wanting to work on--mapping out some of the trees and woody plants around the farm. We gathered our field guides (this one I highly recommend), notebook, camera and headed out. I much preferred it this way. And even though the girls started melting in the afternoon heat and humidity, and a sassy (overtired) child intentionally dumped the bucket of leaves that we had been carefully saving...it was okay. We both kind of looked at each other like, "We tried. It was worth it. Let's go swimming."

And it felt good. It's nice to come to the end of the day knowing you've spent time together with each other and as a family. There's a contentment and peace in that. A feeling like you've 'checked in' with each other and all is good and right.

sunday naps

for one.

what's new

Our internet was knocked out in a thunderstorm Sunday morning and has finally been restored this afternoon. I kind of enjoyed the forced break. It left me lots of time for reading, knitting and general wackiness around here. Now today, there's so much that could be written to play catch-up, but at the same time it feels like there's nothing in particular to say.
Kind of like of friend of mine around here who always asks, "what's new?" every time we meet. And I always answer: "not much". Yet lots is new. Life brings something new each day.

For example:
Elizabeth has discovered the joys of rolling over much to her mother's frustration. She has FINALLY settled down for a nap this afternoon after me coming in to her crib many times to flip her back over. I'm sure she thinks it's quite entertaining.

Emma is suffering through swimmer's ear...which makes perfect sense because she's probably in the pool three times a day. I remember earaches and how even just tucking the hair behind your ear is painful. Poor baby.

And Mary, well, let's just say Mary is three. That probably says enough. She is my non-stop talker, energy-depleter and yet I could still eat her up (most of the time). But, we may have had a breakthrough in the car yesterday: "MOM!! I just realized I can still breathe when I'm not talking!!" phew.