MommyCoddle

Why not?

play soccer in your pajamas, tutu and rainboots!

When Birdy went missing.

Last week, while I was on the phone with Emily, all the kids were outside playing. Birdy, who jumps at any opportunity to be outside, was standing at my hip crying because she was inside and everyone else was out. When her screaming to go out became too much to talk over, I hung up with Emily long enough to put Birdy in her boots and sent her outside--calling to her sisters to keep any eye on her. 

Emily and I continued to talk and I watched as some of the girls wandered back into the house. Finally, much later, Emma came in. Alone. 

Where's Birdy? I asked.

She's inside with the girls. 

No, she's not. You were watching her outside.

No one told me I was watching her. 

And then, there's that parenting moment where you get the immediate pit in your stomach. Deep, deep down you're pretty sure everything is just fine. But in a flash, you've systematically worked through every possible horrible scenario that could happen to your unattended toddler. And what steps you'll take to deal with the emergency. As well as the fact that you haven't showered and if you're going to need to now make a trip to the emergency room, you're looking pretty scruffy and maybe you'll be able to at least wash your hair in the kitchen sink before you go. 

Please. Tell me I'm not the only one who manages all these thoughts in course of 12 seconds?

But of course,  we found her.

And of course where else would she be but playing in the muddiest corner or our property, where the driveway meets the grass. Where the water gathers after every rain. And mixes with mud and stone and mulch and soil. 

And of course, she was wearing one of my favorite sweaters. And her best pair of jeans.

But who was watching her? Her very best pal.

Of course. 

hello again

This is my desk this morning.

It's actually a new little space I created for myself in the kitchen. While I try to do a few things this morning, Birdy is bringing me her stash of animals. I can hear her coming now. And she's dragging a xylophone behind her. Eventually, I'll start giving them back to her. "Back" she'll say and toddle with them back to her room. She's so meticulous. Picking up bits of trash and carrying them all the way to the kitchen trash can. Picking up her sleepers and putting them in her laundry basket. Pushing a chair under the kitchen table when she sees it out of place. I wonder how to nurture this behavior because I love it. I go a little overboard for now when she puts things where they belong. I'm hoping this will encourage her. 

Today is Monday and it marks the first day of a new "adventure" for me. It's a new writing opportunity that kinda shakes out to more than just the here and there kind of freelance writing I've been doing in the past. The work will be with Babycenter but I'll have to wait a bit to get the all-clear to give more details. Sorry. I hate it when people do that. But I'm writing about it here to let you know that there are going to be some growing pains at first. It's definitely more of a commitment. More of a job now, than a hobby. But a job I'm excited about with a company and group of people I'm so happy to be part of. And, to be completely honest, a blessing for my family--somewhat flexible, work-from-home, still homeschool my children, work with great people, add to our family's income. It really is a good thing. 

For now it feels a bit like bringing home a newborn. How it takes a bit to determine your new normal. Figuring out how you'll manage to still do laundry, make dinner and vaccuum the rugs, even though you have this little baby to care for. I know a routine will develop and I'll find ways to carve out time to get everything done. And I know, I'll be asking for help when I need it. 

So hello and thanks for listening and that's the news from Thomas Run. 

More soon, hopefully sooner...

Letting go of the plough

I admit, that until recently, I was the kind of person who really disliked this trend of "me time". I sort of rolled my eyes and thought, "Give me a break. You are a mother. This is what you do. There is no break. No vacation. No me time."

Like many other (and much less important) things in my life, my approach to motherhood was this: Put your hand to the plough, keep your head down, get the job done.

Yes, you need breaks. Yes, you have your "moments". Yes, you'll rest sometimes. But for the most part "me" has been permanently replaced by the general "we". 

It feels like a very honorable stance. To be such a sold-out servant of your family, your husband, your children, your home. 

But with each new addition to this growing family of mine, I begin to understand this notion of needing time. The need to rest. There has to be a moment where we peel our cramped fingers from those wooden plough handles, stand up straight and stretch our backs, take our eyes off the ground and look up and feel the warmth of the sun on our face. 

This past Fall I had the privilege of taking part in one of Lisa Byrne's classes called Designed for Wellness. Lisa and I had actually spoken on the phone together before I ever thought of signing up for her class. When I was in the throes of my so-far undiagnosed post-partum depression after Birdy's birth, I sought out Lisa's wisdom and counsel as a possible solution to this strange funk I found myself unable to climb out of.

But several months later when our paths crossed again, and I signed up for her class I had different intentions. I took her class this Fall with the plan to lose some weight, learn about healthier ways to cook for my family and start making some healthy changes for everyone.

But what I walked away with from her class was completely differenet than what I set out to learn. While Lisa's class offered insight and information about all the things I hoped, what I didn't realize was how the class would really encourage and push me to look deeper into my own attitudes and perspectives. While there would be outward changes as a result of her class, most of the work was happening internally on my heart and mind. My eyes would be opened to some areas of my life that needed some real attention. 

One of those areas, brings me back to my thoughts above. While being the mother of four children (or three! or two! or one!) forces one to need a break every now and then (understatement), I learned as part of working through Lisa's course, that the time I was giving myself and marking off in my mind as "me time", as my momentary break from the duties of motherhood, was actually pretty worthless. 

I'd find myself sitting in front of the computer answering emails and sipping on a cup of tea, thinking "Yes. This is my break. This is time I have carved out and earned. This is going to refresh me." But later, when I put my mothering cap back on, I felt no different. There was no refreshment. I felt no more rested or more prepared to face the rest of the day. 

I think I walked away from Lisa's class learning a lot more about taking care of myself. And while I still battle the thought that it is so silly for me to even worry about how I'm caring for myself, I'm learning that it is the time I spend for myself that is what allows me to be a better mother, wife, person. 

I know this notion is really probably nothing new for many of you. But it was a very eye-opening moment for me. I've since begun to discover what things refill my spirit and refresh me. (FYI: It's not sipping tea and working my way through my inbox.) Some of the things are taking care of my outward self--a haircut regularly, or a long, luxurious hot shower after everyone is asleep and taking time afterwards to paint my nails or put on the good lotion. Asking my husband for a night out of the house and not feeling guilty for needing to get away for a few hours. I'm not high-maintenance. It doesn't take much. But it does take something. And definitely more than what I was doing before. 

These ideas are all kind of wrapped up in one of those New Year's Resolutions floating around in my head. To remember to tend to myself now and then. And to continue to discover what things truly refresh. And I hope you'll be encouraged to take a few moments to discover and invest in the things that refresh you as well.

**I promise I'm not working for Lisa... :) But through this course I feel like we've become good friends and she's someone I can count on for sage advice and wisdom. She has a new Designed For Wellness class beginning on January 16th. And once you join a session of her classes, you become a lifetime member of the site and are welcome to join in any other session thereafter. I whole-heartedly encourage you to consider it...**

Another brain dump/cleanse

1. Over the long weekend Dan skim-coated the kitchen ceiling. I don't know who ever though this was a good idea but at some point in history this textured ceiling must have been THE thing because they're all over our house. The kitchen ceiling was a particularly aggressive form of this texturizing. Curls and whips of plaster big enough to house small spiders and their webs. So now, after scraping it down (thankfully before we moved in) he has put a few layers of mud on the ceiling to smooth it out and in turn highlight our sloping old-farmhouse ceilings. I'm not ungrateful though--it's really an improvement. But, I do NOT do well with a torn-apart kitchen. Especially on New Year's weekend when my resolve to clean-out, clean-up and get organized is at hyper-levels. Usually, he does these kinds of things when I'm out of town. I'm thinking for my own emotional well-being, it would be a good idea to leave town when it's time to tackle the next step in the process--sanding the newly mudded ceiling.

2. Emily and I are beginning our fourth(!) year at habit. We decided for the month of January, to post as we began--just the two of us. I know, it's only January 5th, but sharing that space, just the two of us again, has been pretty magical. 

3. I've been revisiting the Camp Creek Blog lately. So much good thinking and inspiration there. 

4. This is one of my favorite resolution posts of the season. 

5. My mom asked me the other day why I wasn't blogging anymore. It's been months, she says, since I've gotten an email notification that you posted! Ummm, still blogging mom, but apparently, my email subscriptions are broken. Turns out when I deleted an old domain name for this blog, I also deleted all those email subscribers. So, if you're a subscriber, you hopefully got a little email from me this morning with instructions on how to subscribe again. Otherwise, the box in the sidebar should be working now, or you can subscribe by clicking on this link. 

6. I'm all for resolutions despite the trend to pooh-pooh them. I have a running list in my head of things to think about for 2012. I need to write them down.

7. Speaking of things on my mind, Amanda's Squam story really resonated with me in some way. Oh Squam, how I'd love to see you....sigh.

8. I've been writing this post since 9am this morning. It's now 3:52pm. And I have no plan for dinner. Oy.

xo.

molly